Dreamland (129-198)

The next section begins with Caitlin hanging out with Corinna at Corinna’s apartment. As usual, the two of them are enjoying themselves by smoking pot. Meanwhile, she’s getting used to the lifestyle of feeling rebellious and doing everything possible that differentiates her away from her sister. That particular day, she is supposed to meet Rogerson at four thirty. Therefore, after she finishes her time at Corinna’s house, she sets out to go back home to meet up with Rogerson. While driving back, she notices her friend Rina in the car. Rina looks very upset and she’s bawling her eyes out which makes Caitlin conclude that something is definitely wrong. Eventually, Caitlin talks with Rina to find out what is wrong with her. Rina tells her that her boyfriend Bill caught her kissing with another guy at the shopping mall. She particularly finds herself upset because Bill’s entire family was there – his grandmother, aunty, parents, and siblings. While they continue having a conversation, all Caitlin keeps thinking about is meeting up with Rogerson and how angry he is going to be since he never exercises patience with anybody.

When Caitlin returns back to her home, the whole family is supposed to go to a sports ceremony at her school. While she’s there as a cheerleader, Rogerson walks in at the back door. The whole entire time, her attention is centered to him. The ceremony ends far later on and she apologizes for the ceremony being so long. He then questions her about where she was and his constant reply was “whatever”. Just at the point when Caitlin thinks everything is alright, she tells him not to be such a big baby. He then strikes her by slapping her face and tells her to never say that again. She then holds her face in dismay for what her boyfriend has just done. They go to McDonalds, as they do every day to eat some food. There, he acts like nothing happened and everything is normal. Afterwards, he drives her back to her house and there, he kisses her harder than ever and tells her that he loves her for the first time ever. She’s still very shocked so she replies by saying okay even though he did leave a noticeable bruise on her face. Shortly after she gets home, she drives to Applebee’s to see Corinna. Corinna then asks what happened and like Caitlin did with her parents and Boo, she lies.

Cass calls back home. Her mother is very relieved that she has called and even insists that they have forgiven her and all. She talks about everything – her job, how she misses her family, her boyfriend, and just her life at this point in her life. However, the only thing that she neglects to talk about is Yale and where her life goes from now without any substantial education.  

Quote: 

"But I couldn't tell her. I couldn't tell anyone. As long as I didn't say it aloud, it wasn't real." (Dessen 171)

Reaction:

This makes me feel really sorry for her because she is misleading herself by continuously telling herself that what happened wasn't real and she would get through it. She can't tell her best friend, her mother, her sister, or anyone really for that matters. My aunty once told me there was a syndrome where women who were being physically abused by their partner would get back in the relationship with the partner because she feels that she can't live/survive without him. Many times women who are being abused don't leave her their spouse because they feel that they won't be able to survive financial wise. However, in this case, Caitlin is a sixteen year old girl so the only people she needs to depend on financially are her parents. Therefore, I feel that she continuously is returning back to Rogerson because he is so rebellious and she wants to differentiate herself entirely from her sister Cass. At this point, it's not healthy what she is doing to herself by misleading herself. It can only hurt her and if she continues, the ending won't be very nice.

Questions:

Were there some signs leading up to Rogerson's anger/abuse? Possibly they discussed that his father is abusive towards the mother or vice versa? (The father seemed really strict and almost angry whenever he talks to Rogerson, maybe that is a sign Sarah Dessen used to hint the readers that Rogerson also has those issues)

Is she afraid that her parents will get Rogerson in trouble if she tells them what he has been doing?

Does she want to stay in the relationship because it is an easy access to drugs...has she become an addict yet?

Why does she love someone who abuses her? Can't she do better or get someone else who will treat her right?

Does she need her sister back in her life to guide her or is it better for her to grow on her own without any guidance from her sibling?