Dreamland (198-250)

Summary


The last section of the book begins with Caitlin relaxing causally at home at 3 o' clock in the afternoon the day of the Fool's Day party (a party her mum and Boo hosts). Rina, her best friend shows up, saying it's a beautiful day out and wants to "kidnap" her to go to her lake house. However, Caitlin is objecting to it because even though she and Rogerson do not have any plans as of yet, she knows he will come around the house later on so they can hang out. Rina, who thinks its not healthy to be waiting around the house for a boy to call/come around, calls up Caitlin's mum to receive her opinion of the circumstance. Caitlin continuously makes up excuses why she can't leave but in the end she is forced to leave. Eventually, she agrees to it. When she's dressing up, she wears a dress but she also wears a jacket to cover up to bruises she has been receiving from Rogerson's violent abuses. Before she leaves, she attempts to call Rogerson's cellphone many times, there was no answer. She then called his house number, Corinna's number, and his best friend's number but there is still no answer. This leaves her very anxious but she still leaves for the lake house anyways.

When she and Rina are in the lake house, she's very apprehensive because she knows Rogerson will come around the house and would be waiting for her. Therefore, Caitlin continuously asks Rina that she wants to go home and she should drop her off. Rina thinks that Caitlin is overreacting and thinks that she should just relax. Caitlin decides to be stubborn and says she'll just walk all the way back to the house instead. While she is walking, Dave, Rina's boyfriend thinks that it wasn't right for them to fight that way so he offers to give her a ride. When she gets dropped off at home, Rogerson is already in front of the house waiting for her. He is apparently very pissed off and when Rina tries to talk and explain that she has called him so many times, he smacks her which hits her against the door. He then tells her to get up and yanks her up, she's confused so she tries to reassure him that she did nothing wrong. He then punches her which makes her fall into the door which then opens up. Soon after, Caitlin is in a bubble and all she sees is her mother running towards her while the police siren is around the corner. When Caitlin's mother gets there, she yanks him to the side and hugs and tries to comfort her. She then talks to her like how she use to do when she was younger. Although Rogerson has caused her so much hurt and pain in the past, all she wants is to have him right by her side.

Caitlin and Rina reunite their friendship after Rina comes to visit her in the hospital on the account of all those bruises she received from her abusive relationship. While in the hospital, Caitlin starts thinking more than she has ever done in her whole entire life and even cries for two days back to back because she feels guilty for not letting her parents to know and for allowing that to happen to her. Meanwhile, her mother regrets not noticing the signs and being too preoccupied with Cass's issues even though she wasn't with them. She knows that there were signs leading up to it and she feels very apologetic for not opening her eyes to accepting them. Meanwhile, while Caitlin is in the hospital, she receives more attention than she has ever in her whole entire life. Everyone is focused on her, she's not just some invisible other daughter to her parents anymore. She believes that she actually matters. She then receives a letter from Cass. Initially, she is hesitant to read it because she's still very angry with her sister for leaving her to deal with all her chaos and for not being there to guide, lead, and protect her. While she was talking to her psychologist, the psychologist assures her that even though Cass may appear perfect, she's not, and she does have her own flaws. For example, one flaw was leaving the entire family on the day of Caitlin's sixteenth birthday without letting her know and leaving her to figure out the world on her own. However, while reading the letter, Caitlin realizes why Cass left. Cass was too tired of being seen as perfect, she wanted to make her own decisions and live her own life without haveing to live up to the expectations of everyone else. She did not want to be under pressure anymore, she wanted freedom. Freedom to do as she wishes and to do what is solemnly in her best interest.

Quote


"I didn't know what to say to her just yet, but I knew I had a story to tell now, that was mine, hers, and ours. But for that one instant, I concentrated on reaching the surface, feeling the water break across my face as I burst through it into the air to finally breathe on my own" (Dessen 250)

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I found this quote to be extraordinarily powerful, especially as a last line in the book. I like it particularly because as a reader, I want the last few sentences of a book to sum up everything and to end with a good conclusions. I don't like it or appreciate it if a book leaves me with a mystery or leaves me wanting to acquire more pertaining to what happens next. Therefore, this quote gives me an insight on how Caitlin feels and her attitude currently. In the beginning, she was a girl who was still discovering who she was and what she wanted to be in life. She had no backbone, she needed to rely on other people for survival in certain aspects. She relied strongly on her sister until her departure. Then, when her sister left, she started dating a rebellious guy who supposedly brought out the best in her. In actuality, she wanted to try things that her sister has never done. However, as a result, it ended up hurting her and the people around her. As a reader, I've also watched her grow and develop into a strong, confident young woman that she is now. She just proved that her own sister has made mistakes and she's not perfect like she thought she was. As of right now, she's going to do things her way and live by her rules while being safe and intelligent about it. As for structure, I love the way the line about her being underwater and reaching for the surface. It kind of reminds me of a baby chick cracking and coming out of her/his shell. The baby chick is finally breaking free at last and is his/her own person. There is symbolism in the style she wrote it and I just simply admire and appreciate the way she used an analogy that is easy for me to understand A few questions I wish Sarah Dessen answered for me... -Did she actually love Rogerson or does she have the abusive woman syndrome? (Where abused women continously return to their boyfriends because they feel that they can't find better/are too attached to the guy) -Did she ever envy her sister? But then again...maybe she didn't because if she did, she would want to act like her rather than distance herself from her sister personality wise. -Rogerson introduced her to alcohol and pot...is she planning on stopping now or continuing on with it? -How does she feel about her sister in the end? Still vexed at her or understanding about the choices she made for HER & her needs?

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Dreamland (129-198)

The next section begins with Caitlin hanging out with Corinna at Corinna’s apartment. As usual, the two of them are enjoying themselves by smoking pot. Meanwhile, she’s getting used to the lifestyle of feeling rebellious and doing everything possible that differentiates her away from her sister. That particular day, she is supposed to meet Rogerson at four thirty. Therefore, after she finishes her time at Corinna’s house, she sets out to go back home to meet up with Rogerson. While driving back, she notices her friend Rina in the car. Rina looks very upset and she’s bawling her eyes out which makes Caitlin conclude that something is definitely wrong. Eventually, Caitlin talks with Rina to find out what is wrong with her. Rina tells her that her boyfriend Bill caught her kissing with another guy at the shopping mall. She particularly finds herself upset because Bill’s entire family was there – his grandmother, aunty, parents, and siblings. While they continue having a conversation, all Caitlin keeps thinking about is meeting up with Rogerson and how angry he is going to be since he never exercises patience with anybody.

When Caitlin returns back to her home, the whole family is supposed to go to a sports ceremony at her school. While she’s there as a cheerleader, Rogerson walks in at the back door. The whole entire time, her attention is centered to him. The ceremony ends far later on and she apologizes for the ceremony being so long. He then questions her about where she was and his constant reply was “whatever”. Just at the point when Caitlin thinks everything is alright, she tells him not to be such a big baby. He then strikes her by slapping her face and tells her to never say that again. She then holds her face in dismay for what her boyfriend has just done. They go to McDonalds, as they do every day to eat some food. There, he acts like nothing happened and everything is normal. Afterwards, he drives her back to her house and there, he kisses her harder than ever and tells her that he loves her for the first time ever. She’s still very shocked so she replies by saying okay even though he did leave a noticeable bruise on her face. Shortly after she gets home, she drives to Applebee’s to see Corinna. Corinna then asks what happened and like Caitlin did with her parents and Boo, she lies.

Cass calls back home. Her mother is very relieved that she has called and even insists that they have forgiven her and all. She talks about everything – her job, how she misses her family, her boyfriend, and just her life at this point in her life. However, the only thing that she neglects to talk about is Yale and where her life goes from now without any substantial education.  

Quote: 

"But I couldn't tell her. I couldn't tell anyone. As long as I didn't say it aloud, it wasn't real." (Dessen 171)

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This makes me feel really sorry for her because she is misleading herself by continuously telling herself that what happened wasn't real and she would get through it. She can't tell her best friend, her mother, her sister, or anyone really for that matters. My aunty once told me there was a syndrome where women who were being physically abused by their partner would get back in the relationship with the partner because she feels that she can't live/survive without him. Many times women who are being abused don't leave her their spouse because they feel that they won't be able to survive financial wise. However, in this case, Caitlin is a sixteen year old girl so the only people she needs to depend on financially are her parents. Therefore, I feel that she continuously is returning back to Rogerson because he is so rebellious and she wants to differentiate herself entirely from her sister Cass. At this point, it's not healthy what she is doing to herself by misleading herself. It can only hurt her and if she continues, the ending won't be very nice.

Questions:

Were there some signs leading up to Rogerson's anger/abuse? Possibly they discussed that his father is abusive towards the mother or vice versa? (The father seemed really strict and almost angry whenever he talks to Rogerson, maybe that is a sign Sarah Dessen used to hint the readers that Rogerson also has those issues)

Is she afraid that her parents will get Rogerson in trouble if she tells them what he has been doing?

Does she want to stay in the relationship because it is an easy access to drugs...has she become an addict yet?

Why does she love someone who abuses her? Can't she do better or get someone else who will treat her right?

Does she need her sister back in her life to guide her or is it better for her to grow on her own without any guidance from her sibling?

Dreamland (87-128)

Summary
As Caitlin's relationship progresses with the bad boy Rogerson, she is beginning to learn more and more about herself. Although he's not the type of guy who takes her out on an actual date per se, that is not what she desires. She does miss that life style sometimes, a simple guy taking his girlfriend out on a date, but thinks that Rogerson is the guy that she is destined to be with. One day after school, Rogerson drives to Caitlin's school to pick her up from school. When he gets there and they are together, people start staring which makes Caitlin awfully uncomfortable. However, he questions why she cares and calls her classmates and friends "a bunch of idiots". On the other hand, Caitlin's mother is still paranoid with the disappearance of Cass. She thinks its her fault and has even gone to the extent of writing her numerous letters and calling the TV show. However, there has not yet been a response from Cass. Her mum does believe that Cass calls sometimes but doesn't say anything, just breathing.

The next day when Caitlin returns to school, she has a little chat with Mike. Mike asks her what happened the other day and he thought that she had a thing for him. He then gets more serious and starts saying people are gossiping about Caitlin even the cheerleaders. Caitlin thinks that's the least of her possibilities and then attempts to walk away but is grabbed in the hands by Mike. He warns her about Rogerson saying he is dangerous and that isn't her type. Eventually Rogerson comes out and Caitlin rushes to be with him. Instantly, she feels protected which is a feeling she enjoys much. On a Friday night, Caitlin's family are having a weekly Trivia Pursuit's war with Boo and her husband. That is the night when Caitlin is supposed to go out with Rogerson. Her mum thinks that she should invite in Rogerson to meet the family and when she does, Rogerson starts helping them out with the trivia question. How he answers all the question is what Caitlin is still wondering. She later on realizes that he is an extreme perfectionist who gets good grades in school even though he doesn't try.

Another time, Rogerson convinces Caitlin to go out with him somewhere. He receives an A- on an English paper and a 98% on his History exam even though he isn't trying. On the other hand, Caitlin is furiously trying to keep up with balancing her schoolwork and cheerleading. Yet, she is having a difficult time with it. Despite that, he ends up convincing her for them to go out. They visit his friend Corrina who is very much like himself. Although she is much older, she smokes and drinks a lot. There, Caitlin officially smokes for the first time. She then begins to hang out with Corrina more and more. It takes her mind off of Cass and she realizes that they both have a lot in common. However, by hanging out with Corrina, she is introduced to more bad influences in her teenage life.

Quote
"Whenever Rogerson trashed them I didn't know what to say. I wasn't even sure why I'd hung out with them. It had just sort of happened, like everything else in my life. Now, with him, I felt finally like I was making my own choices, living wide awake after being in a dreamworld so long." (Dessen 94)

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This quote out of any other quotes within this section struck out to me. I find it extremely powerful and I feel very satisfied as a reader that she is finding her place in life and is starting to make her own decisions and discover who she is. Although it is not good that her boyfriend is trash talking her friends, he is helping her in many ways to grow up. I guess this proves that sometimes even the worst of people bring out the best in you. I'm not sure why she's not sure why she hangs out with them. Her friends seem like good people even though all they do is gossip and talk about irrelevant things. They are at least good influences. However, they do seem very fake and very pretentious. I guess in the world where she is with her friends, everything is so ideal and perfect. Almost fake, most likely. In the world she shares with Rogerson, everything seems so real and ideal as well. It's not so perfect, it's the actual world she is going to face the rest of her life. That, I'm guessing, is why she likes being with Rogerson so much.

Dreamland (41-86)

Summary
It is Caitlin's first time officially cheerleading in front of people. Her mum's there cheering her on and has a sudden exasperated excitement to the point where she almost appears to be happy. All the cheerleader's names are being called and one by one, they come out. However, when Caitlin is called, someone in the audience is screaming "Cass", the name of her sister. This makes her feel very uneasy because she has not yet overcome her sister's disappearance. When the moves are being formed and Caitlin is on top of the pyramid, the guy is still shouting his sister's name and that makes her feel even more uneasy. She thinks her mind is deceiving her and becomes very perplexed and ends up falling from the pyramid. However, a fellow cheerleader ends up catching her but Caitlin hurts her knee a bit. When that happens, her mum is very worried and she rushes to her daughter's safety.

Caitlin then gets her band aid around her knee. There is a football party later on in the night. Her best friends Kelly and Rina plan on attending it with her. They stop by with Kelly's car to go get some quarters. While there, a cute guy starts talking to her and she finds out that his name is Rogerson. Her friend Kelly thinks he's very good looking while Rina thinks he appears to be dangerous. When the trio arrive at the party, they each go their separate way. Caitlin goes to Mike - a point guard who appears to have a mini crush on him. At the party, she spots Rogerson collecting money for something. When Mike asks her what she's looking at, she says nothing and she's just cold. He then offers to give her his jacket. Suddenly she thinks of her sister and sees herself in the position her sister was in many years ago. She realizes that if she does accept the jacket, she'll be seen as Mike's girl and denies it. Instead, she walks away from the party with Rogerson leaving Mike very angry.She asks Rogerson to drop her home and when he does, they make out in the car for thirty minutes before she goes inside. Although she is not the kind of guy her sister  would go for, she feels somehow a connection/similarity and knows that her sister went through the same.

One afternoon, Caitlin and her mum were watching TV and they end up seeing Cass on TV. Cass is working as an assistant in the crew on a TV show where her boyfriend Adam works at. The mum kneels down in front of the TV and half smiles, very glad that her daughter is alive and well. Caitlin becomes worried because Rogerson hasn't called her back. Eventually, they end up meeting once again. They plan on going out on a date but her parent's are a bit hesitant because they have an idea of what kind of guy he is. When they finally agree to let her go out, he makes one stop before their official stop. She goes with him inside a house where everyone is smoking or drinking. Rogerson then sells a guy his age a bag of pot for $75. The people there then asks Caitlin if she wants some but she decides not to become a subject of peer pressure. After that, they make another stop before finally going on their actual date.

Quote
"When I say you are to be somewhere, you are there. Understood?" (Dessen 85)

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This quote is said by Rogerson's father after he gets into a little trouble. His parents appear to be very strict human beings with probably the best intentions for him in life. The question I really impose on the character is why is he screwing up his life at such an early age? What led to him doing drugs, smoking, and drinking? Sometimes people say that the way a child turns up in life is based on the way his or her parents raised him or her. However, in this situation, it does not appear to be the case. Many times, the child chooses his or her own destiny. The parent can try to raise him or her as much as possible but in the end, it is the child that determines what kind of path he or she chooses. After all, they say you can bring a horse to a stream but you can't force it to drink.

*Most importantly, why could Caitlin want to date him? I know girls like to be with dangerous guys at times but this case is not appropriate. He's a bad boy who does drugs, doesn't seem too good to me...

Dreamland (1-40)

Summary
The book begins with a young girl by the name of Cass running away from home the day of her sister's sixteenth birthday. However, she does leave a present behind and a note for her parents. The note informs her parents not to worry about her and tells them she'll be sure to keep in touch. In addition, it is an apologetic letter because she is aware of how badly her parents will react. The parents do react badly which is perfectly understandable in their situation. Her mum begins weeping and says she has gone to be with "him", the him referring to her twenty-one year old boyfriend. In addition, the mum is extremely saddened because Cass, who is eighteen, is suppose to be moving into Yale University in two weeks. The dad, on the other hand, is more calm and decides to call everyone who knows Cass and where she might be.

Cass's family then informs their neighbours about the devastating disappearance of their family member. Their neighbours share sympathy with them and begins to notice changes in Caitlin, Cass's sister, on the day of her sixteenth birthday. They also observe that she is much quieter than usual but it is all due to the fact of her sister's runaway. About a day or two later, Cass gives her parents a call. The dad answers and queries her about where she is and if she is doing well. Caitlin then picks up the phone on the other line after realizing it is her sister calling. Cass, realizing her sister is on the other line, then apologizes for running away specifically on her birthday. After that, she hands up and the misery in the household once again becomes existent.

Two days later, Caitlin begins a new school year although she has not yet heard from Cass. The mum is still taking it very harshly as she kept Cass's room shut. She is very involved in Cass's activities as if it is Cass herself. The father is then doing what most men will do. Men are not as emotional as women are and the father kept himself at work. He works long hours in other to deviate the pain off of his mind. While in school, Rina, Caitlin's best friends convinces Caitlin to try out for cheerleading. She wants her to do that because it is one thing Cass never did while in school. However, Caitlin argues she never did it because she was an athlete and cheerleading is not a sport.

Everything seems to go back to normal when Caitlin makes the cheerleading team. Her mother goes back to dressing normally once again and finally finds out about her making the cheerleading team. She then suddenly becomes very excited and even says that the two of them should go shopping tomorrow. In addition, she posts her schedule up on the fridge - something she use to do for Cass. When Labour Day is coming up, everyone is deciding whether they should have their annual Labour Day family cookout. The decide to because even if Cass was still with them, she would be in Yale anyways for her freshman orientation. There, mum is laughing with Boo, their neighbour and family friend while dad is talking to Boo's husband. Boo's husband then mentions if it does help, he took away Boo from her family when she was only eighteen. He ended up taking good care of her even though her family was very worried and traumatized. The father gives him a gentle nod and only hopes the same for his daughter and her boyfriend.

Quote
"My mother kept Cass's bedroom shut, with all of her Yale stuff piled up on the bed, waiting for her. I was the only one who ever went up there, and when I did the air always smelled stale and strange, pent up like the sorrow my mother carried in her shoulders, her heart, and her face." (Dessen 25)

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This quote is honestly beautifully written with a good sense of imagery, simile, and personification. It also conveys a large sense of emotion the mother must be feeling and facing in her life as her first daughter has run away from home weeks before she is supposed to attend Yale University. The mother must be thinking where she went wrong and why did the daughter do this without informing anyone. Perhaps she is thinking did she raise her right and is there something wrong with her daughter. There is imagery where the author describes the smell of the air as stale and strange. Then, there is simile when it is comparing it to the sorrow the mother carried on her shoulders. The mother is absolutely going through a lot and she is very worried. I feel like I am carrying the emotions with her and I am thinking about how my mum would react if I was in a similar situation - horrified, like this mother.

I'm wondering why did she decide to leave on the day of her sister's birthday? That seems very harsh especially if she cares about her sister, the least she could do is wait a few days, she still has time. Did she act impetuously or is she thinking about the long run too? Is is something she has been planning for a long time or is it just something that came up? Who suggested it? Her boyfriend or she? I am guessing it was her boyfriend...