Blog Post #5 (232-273)

Summary
In the final sections of the novel, Susanna encounters a new and challenging obstacle in her life: motherhood. She gives birth to a son she names Daniel. Initially, she has no idea how to connect with her son whatsoever. She also has a difficult time figuring out how to touch and hold him in a loving manner. Because of her sexual past, she believes she might just naturally touch him in a terrible, sexual way he will remember forever. Therefore, she becomes cautious of how she treats her little one.

A few weeks after Susy has the baby, she realizes that she is suffering because of an emptiness deep within. She is in need of a motherly figure in her life. She then contacts her mother in law to visit her. When Daphne finds out she chooses the mother in law instead of her, she feels very hurt and betrayed. However, a few months later, she is granted the right to visit her grandson. When that happens, Susy is very cautious of her mother and where her mum places her hands on her son's body.

Years later, Susy becomes the mother of a new baby boy. Her first son becomes even more connected to her as he seeks hugs from her in the middle of the night. Years go by and Susy contacts all her old friends, guys that he mother claim to have slept with. During this period, she hears the guy's perspectives of what occurred many years ago. She discovers that her mother has been lying to her all this while about sleeping with the guys. Of course, Susy is not surprised as the lie is not an unprecedented act.

As the book comes to a conclusion, Susy writes about a few more instances when she was younger. There is a time when she is about nine years old and her mother had several seizures along her bedside. Susy is very frightened that the mum was going to die. Despite that, she did not. Throughout her life, she never told her mother about that particular instance.

After sharing an autobiography of her life experiences, the reader discovers that she actually never goes to see her mother in the hospital. She simply could not convince herself to.

Quote
"In the morning, before light, first one boy then the other will climb into the bed, seeking our rituals. Jack will plant tiny kisses along my arm. I'll feel Daniel's mangy curls. We will batten down their flying limbs so as not to be jabbed too much. We will be laughing." (Sonnenberg 273)

Reaction
I definitely feel like in this quote, it was a big turning point in Susy's life. Up until now, her life has been lived negatively with her and people around her performing bad acts. However, right now, she is a new person. She's a true mother and she is trying her best to not be anything like her mother. For that, she should be commended because she is showing her kids good love that she never had as a child. This is her present life and I as a reader feel very happy for her because she's happy :)


Question:
Does she regret everything that has happened in her life?